I am headed full steam ahead!!!!

I took the title of my blog from a Sylvia Plath poem called "Metaphors". She wrote this poem on the occasion of her pregnancy. I think this snippet sums up how I feel.

I am 8 and half months pregnant and there is no turning around no backing out. I am going to have a baby! And I am excited!!!

I remember J (baby daddy) and I talking about having children a year ago. We had planned on "trying" in the summer. We even planned a "doing-it" vacation. But as it turns out our doing it vacation turned into our celebrating/panic vaction because I was already pregnant by the end of the summer.

My doctor told me that most healthy couples get pregnant within 6 month, but it could take up to a year, and that I should be prepared in case I get knocked up the first month off birth control. I heard that, knew that but never did I think it could happen. But it did.

We made Enzo (my soon to be baby) in Austin in the bed we have shared for years. I found out about Enzo in London. Two tests from Boots told us that a big change was coming our way. I remember taking the test in a flat in Angel while J was eating outside. I stayed in the bathroom paralyzed with fear, excitment, panic, and most of all shock. I sat on the loo not knowing what to do. Then I left to tell J and he smiled and hugged me. We were happy we had made a baby. One that was planned and concieved with the best intentions and most of all a product of our love.

My life never returned to normal after that. I was given this new life. one as a potential parent. All of a sudden my thought were different. Something huge was going to happen to me and I needed to be prepared.

So of course I read tons of books, looked stuff up on the internet. And now here I find myself 8 and half months pregnant. I willingly bought my ticket and now theres no getting off